Negotiating Casual Sex with Yourself and Others

This piece is part four of the casual sex blog series, written by Aly Albertson of Queer Sex Ed Community Curriculum. Enjoy part one, part two, and part three!



The dictionary definition of casual sex according to the online Oxford languages dictionary is: “sexual activity between people who are not established sexual partners or do not know each other well.” While this definition is not technically wrong, I would like to expand the definition of casual sex to low commitment sexual activity that is not in an established relationship (hookups, one-night stands, friends with benefits, etc).


For myself, instead of following present dictionary definitions, I think it’s really important for folks to have their own definition of what casual sex means to them before, or while engaging in it! As everything around sex, relationships, and sexuality is constructed around traditional heteronormative relationship models, I encourage everyone to self-define what sex and casual mean to you. Because sexuality is a lifelong journey, not a set destination, this definition may shift and change across time, or with different sexual partners, and that's okay!